Patience for the Season

Gianna 4 weeks old here - her and her lil' friend Amelia at Gianna's baby shower

A pic I took of her yesterday..I love her so much!

She loves laying on daddy's bare chest - one of the only way's we can get her to sleep sometimes!

All dressed up for her big night - her "Welcoming Baby Gianna" baby shower! (and mama's tired here...yawn...)

The kids right before we left for the Shower ~at my wonderful friend Angie's house.

It was a really fun night welcoming Gianna to many who hadn't yet met her! So fun we only got, like 2 pictures of the whole thing! :(

....anyway where was I?

Oh yeah, PATIENCE...this is a tough one for me.

I finally was in the mindset yesterday to START EXERCISING! I know it's a little early - depending on who you talk to. Some women start the first week after birth! That's always been too early for me! So, I'm not hardcore like that. But, four weeks. I figure that's not so early. So, I put on my exercise clothes first thing when I got up. My husband was off so he was gonna help make it work for me, too. (He goes out of his way to make my fitness goals happen for me-always has - which I consider a huge blessing.) It had been officially announced. Every one knew it was on the agenda. I knew it would be a stretch to find the time in my day to plan for my 30 -45 minute time slot in the garage with my treadmill. I KNEW IT WOULD BE. And I'll just say this to make a LONG story short.

I tried.

I really did. But the stars did NOT align and it did not happen.

*Sigh*

I'll try again soon (maybe). What did end up happening though was what I needed probably more at this point (I know y'all are gonna agree with me on this one).

A glorious three hour nap.

I don't get these much. (I love it when my husband is off!)

I woke up feeling like a brand new woman, seriously.

So the thought remained in my mind. Sleep is what I need right now more than anything.

This is hard for me. Just the whole concept of being PATIENT.

Leave it to giving birth and having a newborn in the house (along with 3 other children) to show you emphatically just HOW impatient you really are. I speak for myself.

And maybe it is more so this time because I seriously feel buried with all the responsiblity I now have (all be it wonderful).

"Me " time no longer feels realistic.

I know that in time I'll get the routine down alot more than I am now and I will find that time again...

but right now it feels so far away.

I am a person that needs this desperately.

I need time. And attention. Mainly to hear myself think (I know I've written about this before) which allows for my creative juices to flow (no matter how minute they are currently).

I consider exercise a part of this.

Also GIRL TIME. Oh, I've been missing that as well.

And while I'm on the subject, Sam and I have not had a REAL date for at least 6 weeks now.

He's so helpful with the kids and housework and well, doing the WORK of everything.

But I miss having fun and romance with him.

And I know he misses me.

You know its bad when you hear a Nickel back song with the words in it "So Far Away"....and you about burst into tears...yeah, you know you're feeling TOO far away!

(I am exclusively breastfeeding and have not yet introduced a bottle to Gianna ...I plan on it but that also means adding the extra time consuming chore of pumping which I am not opposed to but not entirely thrilled about adding MORE to my already crowded day - with the first couple kids it was ALOT easier-still probably gonna do it, though and soon!)

So as you hear:

yeah, pretty impatient

So this has been God's word for me lately.

PATIENCE FOR THE SEASON.

It rings so true to me but difficult.

I know that my baby will only be this tiny and small and needy for this short time in my life.

I honestly do want to keep the focus on her right now and really take all the time needed to recover, regain my strength and keep my focus where it should be.

As I have already written, I am aware that the fleshly part of me is not well, happy with how I look and feel currently. I have to be real about that. And also, I just FEEL so much better health wise when I am exercising regularly. It's HUGE. It really is. So, for that I cannot condemn myself for wanting...

but I need to be right now what does not come naturally to me.

Patient.

And I know I cannot do this on my own.

Help, Lord!

Old Woman In The Shoe Syndrome

"There was an Old Lady who lived in a Shoe..she had so many children she didn't know what to do..."

SO I'm here. My girls are at school, my son is in a nap and my 3 1/2 week old daughter sleeps peacefully next to me in her car seat as I write this.

Now...what to blog about? Really, there is so much I don't even know where to begin.

I could write about:

postpartum. A single word and yet..LOADED.

my varying emotions these days - one minute I'm so tired, lethargic and overwhelmed i could cry. Or scream. Or both. OR, the next minute I'm feeling so high on life, my new baby girl and my new role as mom of four I could jump for joy. Or cry. Or both.

(So you see my dilemma with that one.)

Or I could talk about my ..uh, dissatisfaction with the current digits on my bathroom scale.

And the looming reality that it's gonna take me awhile to get back into the swing of things (fitness wise).

And reality check! ~with each kid, LONGER.

Right now things are so busy around here I barely have time to pee, let alone even think about going to great heights with fitness goals right now.

And I'm impatient.

I want to get back in my skinny - no I take that back - skinniER clothes!

Being postpartum has always been hard on me. I know I'm not alone in that, however I am weird when it comes to this.

I have made the mental note to myself in past years that I actually feel cuter at 9 months pregnant then I do in the postpartum period.

I know, you'd think...but I told you I was weird.
Cause when you're hugely pregnant everybody knows you have a baby in there, expects you to be large and is always giving you compliments about how cute you are pregnant.

After baby comes, you heard it here, it's all over.

I kinda always feel this pressure...(and very perceived, not real I am sure of it), my OWN self-prescribed I'll go out on the limb and say, to lose the baby weight~ and the faster, the better.

I'm an athlete.

That's who I am.

My body lives to move, sweat, push itself and respond from the activity.

Postpartum I always feel like I'm in somewhat of an identity crisis.

I may not look like Homer Simpson anymore...

now I just feel like a puffy version of Marge, his old lady...minus her slammin' body (did you ever notice? ....all be it a little strange)...
~with a little splash of the Old Lady in the Shoe....yeah... that lady.

The one with all the kids.

Yeah, the kinda dumpy one still wearing maternity clothes, with bags under her eyes from no sleep, and the round puffy face...

ugh.

That's how I feel anyway.

Just keepin it real.

The few times I have gone out with the kids I get these looks like "WHOA, YOU GOT ALOT OF KIDS!".... or

"ARE ALL THOSE YOURS?"...

uh-huh.

Thus the identity crisis.

I am mommy.

Is there anybody else here?

So we've got the hormones. (It looks like we did do the postpartum talk). The maternity clothes we are all sick to death of. Body image issues (think: deflated balloon - I have always thought this was a perfectly illustrative analogy for after the delivery of baby), if you are breastfeeding feeling chained to your brand new beautiful baby (so breathtaking is she you could just cry as you watch her nurse like a barricuda - like I do.) And you are tired. So tired.

Oops. I just fell asleep....

Anyhoo, for some reason I am identifying today with The Old Woman in The Shoe. (Or is it Mother Goose?)

I LOVE being a mother. SO SO MUCH. But I also know that somewhere inside me (I'm searching but can't seem to find her these days), is a spunky, fun, youthful, fit, trim, intellectually stimulating, exciting girl that loves to shake it on the dance floor or loves to run a sweaty hefty block of mileage to horrendously LOUD music blaring in my ears. With no children or babes at my ankles..or breasts.

And today...I am missing that girl.

October Fun....

WHAT FUN!!!!

First Days At Home

Our very sleepy baby - her schedule is exactly as it was in the womb - pretty quiet in the day, but come 11pm, TIME TO WAKE UP AND HAVE A PARTY! Yeah, we're working on that.... *yawn*...
Gianna's first bath at home!

In her swing...she's only been in it a few times so far..not so sure if she's big on it yet...

Her big sisters love her so much already!

And so does mommy...(we spend lots of time on this couch lately..really...so much...she's on a very strict 2 hour nursing schedule -by her own making - and often every hour! So yeah, that's what I've been up to....I think I have left the house 3 or 4 times the whole time we've been home!)

She's two weeks old already! It seems to have gone by so fast and yet..it's all been a blur. These are the most exhausting days EVER. But we sure are enjoying her! :)

Have you heard the news?

It's a Girl!!!

Our little princess -

Gianna Grace

born 10/12/09 6:25 pm

9lbs. 4 oz, 20 1/2 in.

We are so in love!

Below is a pic of me right before the induction started..all smiles! It was a beautiful, early somewhat stormy October day. Here I'm one day shy of 41 weeks - I was SO ready...BRING ON THE PAIN!!!Daddy and his little girl! I KNEW this baby was big - (in my posts..did you notice all the "SO uncomfortable" rants?) People truly had no idea - I knew this baby was gonna be big I just had not a clue she'd be a NINE pounder (and I gained 28 lbs total!) Now, it all makes perfect sense....when I saw those numbers on the scale I seriously couldn't believe it!

NINE POUNDS, FOUR OUNCES...oh my gosh! SO healthy was she! :)

Gianna's first bath - I LOVE the first bath, always something I have loved..getting to see all your baby's new parts and the nurse handing them to you all clean and smelling good....

Dr. Malloy- she rocks. What a blessing to be told your baby is totally healthy and everything "looks good"! Thank you, Lord.

Our little chunk. I have to admit my bias on chunky babies. All of mine have been "chunky monkeys" (her the biggest!). Lovin the roly poly thighs!!

OK, a shout out to my AWESOME, INCREDIBLE nurse Emmy. I so stinkin' love labor and delivery nurses. I seriously get emotional when I think about all the ones I have had with my past births. Modesty completely flies out the window with birth. They see you - ALL of you- through every step. From the first contraction all the way to that first bloody walk to the bathroom after delivery (sorry if TMI - were all ladies here, right?), and also helping with breastfeeding...intimate stuff. How can we help but not get attached to these guys? Anyway, Emmy was my nurse ALL day and wanted desperately to see and be a part of my delivery before her shift ended at 7. She made it! I will never forget her! She was so sweet and calming and confident boosting. And here is the midwife Debra Goldstein who delivered Gianna. I absolutely loved her gentleness and professionalism. She made the delivery so smooth, calm and beautiful!

me and Emmy (below) ...and my beloved blood pressure cuff!!!

BUT LOOK! I had NO blood pressure issues with this delivery! FIRST TIME EVER! 117/72 baby! whoo-hoo! Usually this reads something like 160/110!!! Not this time......another thankyou, God!

Our first pic together with baby! We are SO tired...we stayed 2 1/2 days and I think I got a whopping 5 0r 6 hours total of sleep? Between the nursing, all the hustle and bustle of hurses all day and night, etc... uh, yeah, not alot and neither did Sam - he did all the diaper changing and helping with everything! (Here we are getting ready to go home)

Mckenna getting a good look at her new baby sister! She was SO happy it was a girl - she wanted to do hair!!

And now Sierra's turn....

Daddy and BIG brother.....Justice is not quite sure what to think (even still a week later as I write this)

The kids and their shirts!

Getting ready to go home..I am all smiles here but I really feel like I've been hit by a mac truck. Let the swelling begin! (I'm weird, my sweelling always starts AFTER delivery and I really balloon up for at least a week...)

I"M A MOM OF FOUR! And we're a family of SIX!

There are no words at how happy I am that all went well and with our blessed new daughter Gianna Grace. God blessed this birth and was with me. My cup is so full! And to think what I was blogging about this same time last year and same month (October) - such heartbreak...our miscarriage.

Look at what the Lord has done! That's all I can say...

Goin' home...let the journey of motherhood continue...and begin all at the same time!

I can't wait!

Love to you all.

..SO much to share...so little time!

It's been a while since I've been on here...we've been, oh...just a little busy! But I'm here, alive and well, and basically just hibernating in the new mommy cave.
I know most of you have already seen the pics of new baby Riesterer on FaceBook but I realized some of you probably haven't. So sorry if you've been anxiously awaiting the news! I will be posting pic's VERY SOON.
Time to go feed the little one now....

Tommorrow's BABY TIME!

......And well...Sam never did get a baby for his birthday wish on his birthday but we did have a fun celebration for his 35th birthday!

Look at all those candles! (Just kiddin', honey)

....SO we're being induced at SW early in the morning! (Monday the twelfth - Columbus Day!) We don't actually know yet what time, they will be calling us bright and early at 6 am to let us know that - hopefully as early as possible. But, oh man, we are SO excited! I am SO ready! I am now currently 5 days over due. These last few days I've still definitely had early labor symptoms but obviously nothing that has sent me to the hospital. I've been frustrated! It's been rough. I was really hoping to go into it on my own (like I spontaneously did with Justice the night before our second scheduled induction). The contractions were so much easier, more spread apart, and I didn't need to be hooked up to a stinkin' machine. I've been induced with my first two girls - and it worked both times - but I can honestly say I preferred going into labor on my own as I did with Justice. Just seemed to make for a better labor experience...sigh.

But at this point, can we just say I feel SO DONE?

Put a fork in me - yes I said it, I'M DONE!

Whatever is needed at this point to get this baby out of my belly and into our arms is what I wanna do!

(I actually am having more contractions right now as I type this but I ain't gonna get excited about it...if it happens, GREAT but I'm not gonna get my hopes up!)

Hmmm....if I think about it, I guess I don't mind the induction process SO much..it definitely feels like real labor. More challenging even. And I'm always up for a good challenge! Gettin' my war paint ready!

BRING IT ON!!!!!

I am totally convinced that by the time our "time" comes around to give birth, after 9 LONG months of gestation, all of the bodily discomfort and altered life style we learn to accomodate , we are READY for it!

I admit, I am nervous. I've got the butterflies going. Cause when I look back on my labor and deliveries, they have all had their specific things happen that were unexpected. But that's also been part of the excitement. I hope and pray that everything goes smoothly. Healthy baby, healthy mom. Everyone over here is totally psyched. Kids are so excited (at least the girls :)). All the links on the chain are long gone. My husband's been on the edge of his seat for too long.

And I am way too uncomfortable to be a very good mommy and wife to my family at this point.

IT'S TIME.

This morning I awoke to find the sweetest card from my husband written to me with my name fancily written on the envelope.

I hungrily ripped it open! (hungrily? I promise I haven't read any trashy romance novels lately - I quit those years ago! LOL)

The words in this card just basically bloated me up with the best kind of wifey pride known to women. :)

That basically I'm the bomb. (for doing what I do on a daily basis) and how proud he is of me!

Can I just say that I NEEDED IT TODAY?

I love my husband!

I am SO thankful he sees what I do and recognizes the value in it. And TELLS me! He has forever won my heart for being this kind of man!

It made me feel ...confident.

No matter the adjustment inevitably ahead, I CAN DO THIS. And I CAN DO IT WELL.

I'm so thankful to the Lord for this timely piece of encouragement right before delivery.

He always knows what we need, doesn't HE?

Anyhow, here's a few pic's of how we spent the day today...this weekend we have basically done NOTHING but stayed home, lounged, watched movies, played games, and read books. ( I am no longer interested in traveling ANYWHERE. I need a close by couch. :)

It's been such a blessing having so much quality time with my children!

Kids and I watched "Pippi Longstocking" today with popcorn - good times.:)

Chocolate pudding - a la' finger painting afterwards (and a much needed bath!)

Ooh, I forgot to mention I've been working on this, too - Justice's baby book...

I almost have it DONE! Yaaaaaayyyy! (but SO messy - one thing I truly DON'T like about this hobby!)

And a really good book I read recently that was SO encouraging and fun and such a great read - totally confirming my own thoughts!


Bless you all, friends! Please be praying for me! THANK YOU!